It's 9:17pm and I am out of bed for the first time since a little after noon Saturday. I came home from work on Saturday and laid down. I didn't feel like doing anything. I feel just a little bit better now. I either got the flue or a cold. My fever never got as high as India's but I've been achy and coughing and sneezing and had a sour throat. Just over all crappy feeling.

Elise is watching comedy central right now and the comedians are on and she loves it. She has watched this episode of Jeff Dunham so often that she has it memorized. She was acting this particuliar show out in the car the other day for my friend Jim. She has always had a keep sense of humor and comedy central just fits right in there with it. I have to watch what she see's on there though because late at night it gets pretty rough.

She is actually a very caring and sweet kid but she has gotten a bit of her moms sense of humor and I'm not sure if that's always a good thing or a bad thing. One day I walked through the kitchen and she has drawn a picture on our dry erase board. I looked at it and asked it what it was and she said....
She said it was a retarded person's thought bubble. Wierd, wierd kid.

This is India if you sneak up on her and ask her a question like you just want her to turn around but instead you snap a picuture of her but just before you do it takes to long for you stupid camera to take the picture so she see's the camera and makes a face instead.
Apparently, her fan in the corner is cold because it's wearing a winter hat.

I can't seem to get photo bucket to take any more pictures as it's running way to slow, so you are safe for now......

I have been so busy the past few days. I finally got India over the flu and she was back at school on Wed. School was closed Friday due to weather and Monday due to MLK Day. So she missed Tuesday just due to being sick. She had a fever of 102.4 off and on the whole time and I pretty much had to keep her full of medicine to keep it from spiking. Knock on wood....no one else in the house has come down with it. I figured the way the little ones are packed into their classrooms that Elise would have come down with something by now.

We have been quite busy with plans for the W9IRC. The Illiana Radio Club is off the ground and we have made quite a few changes and adjustments attempting to make it run smoother. Probably one of the best was making Don Pine our Pres. as he has tons of experience and can bring a lot to the table. He can also challenge you too but in a civil way and I don't mind that either. I so prefer someone with a opinion over someone who is a lemming and blindly follows whatever they are told. I once knew someone who could "change" their opinion on MAJOR things in his life. Religion, political standing etc I mean things that are usually not flip floppy like what your favorite TV show might be. It solely depended upon who his friends were at the time, if he felt like arguing about it with people around him or who he was "with" at the time. Meaning whoever he might be married to or dating. It was amazing to see so many complete turn arounds without any explanation just flip flopped to thinking one total set of rules and then "believing" in something 180 the next. I know it could be just as bad to get someone who is stuck in their ways and won't bend an inch even IF they found that they were wrong just out of stubbornness.

I will be closing up this office early today and go out and get Elise. They rescheduled the half day from last Friday when the weather closed schools to today. I will most likely take off early and go home to get ready for a dinner tonight at my house with a few friends. Then we will play games. I enjoy these nights with friends. However, I volunteered to make a big steak dinner, home made mashed potatoes and gravy with veggies...hmmmmm a bit more work then ordering pizza. :)

I've been meaning to update the site for the past couple of days. It's like 6am and I've been up for over an hour now. I fell asleep earlyish for me so now here I am before the crack of dawn wide awake. I redid two web pages for work and now I can play.

You know I'm bored when I begin to make glitter text :)

On facebook someone posted a picture of their dog. It wasn't someone on my list but one of my friends made a comment on the picture. It was the most adorable picture I have seen in a long time. I love it and wanted to share it.

I had another picture that I wanted to share here. It was a photo that was next to a news story on Google News. I couldn't believe that they actually used the picture. I put it on photobucket to save it for later reference. Today when I went to pull it off the site, they had deleted it and instead there was a note there saying that it wasn't appropriate for the site. I don't think it was THAT bad but yes it was inappropriate for the Google News site. I have to wonder if it was the last day for the person who decided to post it next to the news article. It was a picture of a chastity belt that was being used as a reference picture to an STD news article. I was amazed that it stayed on the site for so long especially since photobucket yanked it from my own photo folders. Weird. It looked like who ever found the image pulled it from some fetish site.

I have been listening to my My Last.fm page. I have been enjoying sitting with the headset on while the rest of the house is sometimes noisy or asleep and just listening to commercial free music that never ends and I don't have to change out the disks. I could always turn on my mp3 player but this is hear and ready and most of the time has the very same songs as on my player anyway. If you haven't tried it yet...Last FM Check it out!

Still no word on the camera.

I guess they haven't even sent the camera in yet. I hate this waiting game. I'd like to know how much I going to be reamed for.

Today was a kind of a quiet day at work. Lots of phone calls from people with excuses wbhy they couldn't bring in the full payment. Other's had excuses why they couldn't pay at all and others that I just didn't hear from at all and their stuff is going to be on the line for auction if they don't contact me soon. :/

Still had a rough day with the panic attacks. Sure wish I knew what had brought these on in the first place and wish I could rewind. It might not have been just one thing but I do know they are hanging around a bit too long. I have found that the one closest to me is getting impatient with my not being strong and okay. That doesn't actually help...ads to the pile of things that are causing the attacks in the first place when I know that I am making someone sad, uncomforable, pissed etc etc. I can't wait until this passes.

I am playing Scrabble right now and will probably kick the persons butt that I am playing against. I almost always win against him. Not that he doesn't give it a good shot.

My friend Jerry brought over about 20 pounds of beef attached to some ribs and I cut them up and froze them tonight. I was able to get about 14 nice steaks out of it. A decent thickness as well and 7 ribs with tons of meat on them. Those will be so good BBQ'd up. Here is a picture of the bags of steaks in the fridge.

Those steaks on the right are three packages deep...one over to the left with just two in it and the package in the back left corner of this picture is some fat that I trimmed away that I thought the logs might like cooked up for them. :)

Thank you Jerry! We will enjoy them. India LOVES steak by the way and when we go to Ryan's she will make an entire meal of steaks.

When I look at things, I see them for what the author/artist intended. THEN my mind always seems to wander immediately. The images begin to morph and sometimes that morphing becomes funnier (to me anyway) then the original intention.

Recently, as some of you know, India got accused of breaking a 400.00 camera. The straps of a purse were put over the top of her head from behind. She is oblivious to what's on her head but is aware that one of the straps has gotten caught on her ear piercing. She detaches the object from her ear and drops it back behind her from where it came. Turns out, its a purse with a 400.00 camera in it. Which is now broke. Won't do anything but give an error message on the screen when turned on. Now the mom thinks that India is responsible. Basically because she knows me and not the parents of the other kid who actually put the bag containing the camera over India's head in the first place. She isn't pursuing this kids parents because 1. there are two of them 2. they have money and live in an upscale subdivision. 3. I am an easier target. Well I am not 100% sure yet how I am going to handle this but when I saw this Dilbert strip about a sales man who basically is making a ton of money because his company is FORCING everyone to upgrade. He feels like a pirate, pillaging these people. However, I saw that sack as representing a camera worth about 400.00.

And this one just made me think of all the relationships that I have witnessed over the years from both friends, family and a few I've personally been involved in where one person says all kinds of mean, totally unable to come back from and be the same, type of comments and then expect that the other person can truly just "Strike that from the record"

Hopefully, I am almost done with all the panic attack and crap I have been going through for about a month now. I tend to take on way too much and I know that I am often viewed as the person who is always in control, in charge, the go to person when you don't know how or want to deal with something. That's me. When people begin to depend and view you like that and you suddenly can't be so strong and it doesn't go away in a few days, they get scared, or pissed, confused and sometimes they can't handle it and they walk away. These are times, when it's wonderful to have friends you can break down and say, "Hey I'm not handling things so well right now." and they are like "What can I do to help with the load." I have MANY friends that will do that for me. In a bizarre way, I guess the only silver lining to have had to go through so much is to know...I have many good friends. I am glad for that and I don't take a single one of you for granted.

I am usually very strong but occasionally, since the health issues with my defibrillator, once or twice a year I go through a hell of a time. This time lasted about a month actually. I am beginning to feel like the weight is being lifted from my chest and I feel like soon I will be okay again. I wish it hadn't lasted so long this time, but there isn't much I can do but get drugged and I more often than not choose to NOT do that.

I have a friend that has cancer and today was their first visit with the new doctor to find out the options for treatment and a biopsy was sent to the lab today as well. I was very happy to be able to be pulled together enough to be able to be there for my friend. A friend who has handled my panic attacks very well over the years.

Random Stuff

I spent the weekend busting my butt to get a web site up for our company and then found out the boss was on vacation and wouldn't see it until at least the 13th when he gets back :) Oh well, it's done now and I can move onto other challenges. I am sure that there will be a few tweeks he will want done. I'll work on those later.

I have a dentist appointment tmw Right at this very moment, I am cool with it. I don't know how I'll feel about it tmw when the time comes. I think I'll be okay.

I really do..... I should get to bed asap. I spent the evening playing with Elise. I felt so bad that there was one game I got her for Christmas that we hadn't even played with yet. I made sure that I set aside some time to play the game with her. Tmw night she will be staying at her Dad's. I will miss her but I am glad that I got to play with her tonight for a long, long time. It's funny though. No matter how long we play it is never long enough :)

It's a little early but I think I can start thinking about plans for Field Day. I believe that we have several places to choose from and each one has the basic things that we need. Bathrooms, shelter from rain if it gets bad, a huge amount of land and tower access.

I hope that everyone has a good year. I've had a few moments in mine that I wish I hadn't but for the most part it was a good year. I guess if the scary, odd, bad stuff doesn't happen, then you wouldn't know when the good stuff was there.

This is what happens when you leave your camera in the car where the kids can get a hold of it. I needed to take some pictures later that same day and the batteries died right as I got to the place I needed to shoot pictures of. I was wanting to update our website with new pictures of both facilities.

I found a tumor on my dogs belly this week. I have to take her to the vet. I really can't afford a ton of doctor bills. I can just afford to get us all to the vet and dentist without spending hundred on the dog. I hope nothing is wrong with her and it's just something that will do away.


I got a new night gown with Signal on it. :) Well actually it's just a frog but I'll say it's Signal.

Okay enough of this foolishness. I better get ready for work tmw.