I think India is trying to kill me.

I don't mean with a knife or poison or anything like that...that I know of anyway. But with stress. This morning on my drive to work, after we had had our usual "discussion" on why she wasn't going to miss school again today, and why I wouldn't just take her late in the day and why she WAS going to go to work tonight no matter what. I noticed that my arms were hurting. Both of them all the way down both arms and I realized that I was clenching the steering wheel and probably my jaw if I'd stopped to notice with a death grip from stress. If it shows in that way I am sure that it is working on me from the inside out as well.

My oldest daughter, was easy and I believe that youngest one will be too as she has been thus far. But from the beginning of India's life I have known that she would be quite a handful. She was mean and feisty from the very beginning of her life. Don't get me wrong, she is funny, and talented and smart and beautiful but a handful to say the very least and always has been. I think God said "I gave you a simple one the first time and I'll but you a break with the third one too but this middle child the spirit I have assigned her is going to take love and patience. So here she is...do your best."

I know it is a good portion my fault as well. With that mindset and personality I probably should have been less forgiving on her missteps. I need to set some much more "black and white" rules. It's just been a very rough year with her and I don't see any light yet at the end of the tunnel. I am so worried about her future, I can't see her getting herself up to go to college each day, studying and holding herself accountable. She HAS the ability to do all this and more but whether she will choose to do so is what is scaring me. She likes to have money and things and if she just works a register somewhere without a degree for the rest of her life, unless she refocuses her priorities totally, she is not going to be a happy girl.

On a happy note, my MAD Bathroom Companion came yesterday in the mail. I have been content reading it. It's so full of total silliness and NOT serious things that I find it relaxing to goof off reading it :) I've pretty much caught everything up here at the South office so I just might kick back and read for a bit when I'm done here. When I get to the North office I have some collections work to do and will most likely stay too busy to do much else.

I plugged in the card from the camera and found that I hadn't actually taken a single picture since the last bunch you can see in the last post.

We had a great IRC meeting last night and darn if I didn't neglect to take some pictures there too. I really should have too because we had an impromptu cookout during the meeting and everyone was full and had fun. I was very pleased with the turnout and the meeting was extremely productive. We were making a ton of plan for Field Day and much was talked about and done.

That'll do pig, that'll do.